So this week was a wild one! A teeny bit of mending and attempted repairing, some more paring down of possessions, a couple of tiny additions, forced clarity on a former friendship, and an exercise in gratitude and contentment.
First off, immediately after my last weekly update the mending bug had bit me hard. I got to work fixing the pulled threads in my thrifted cape. I needed to mend the pulled threads to make them less prone to snagging on any surfaces.
The next thing I worked on was repairing my sewing machine. I didn’t succeed but I found where it was messing up. But repairing that one part just didn’t make a difference, it’s just poorly constructed and will continue to keep destroying itself. I’ll be disassembling this and recycling what I can of its components and resuming handsewing.
I also gave Lenya her best faceup yet! Her eyebrows leave a lot to be desired, but I trimmed her bangs to hide that, much like when I forget to pluck my own brows and I wear clip-on bangs. Keep that on the down-low if you employ the same tactic, however. Those strats are too powerful for most people to handle. AKA: pick one that blends fantastically with your hair and tell everyone you want to because clip-on bangs are awesome.
I’ve also been wearing lolita for most of the week(vacation, whoo!). Despite being a lifestyle lolita, it sometimes is a pain to wear lolita every day I’m off work. But lifestyle lolita =/= daily lolita, and I’ll be releasing a post on that sometime this year. It takes a lot of work to assemble a nice coordinate.
I also finished Lenya’s JSK with the exception of the lace, which I will make myself after I buy her a suitable blouse, and I found her a tiny reusable tote bag in a little candy shop, and I just can’t even. On Ningyo Bingo they concluded the Japanese word for that is moe, which fits here too.
I met with another doll collector last night- and I learned Lenya’s stringing is a bit loose. I’m hoping she will bring a doll if I see her again this week, so I can feel what proper BJD tension should be like, but that depends on her availability.
I also pared down all my sewing stuff into two containers! I’ve needed a more secure sewing kit for a while, the yellowed one always threatens to pop open and spill needles everywhere! So now, instead of a big Rubbermaid style container, the less deadly fabrics are all in my old sewing box and my needles, thread, zippers, hooks/eyes, snaps, bias tape, etc. are all in the Caboodle. Talk about opening up space! If I’m doing mending I usually don’t need any extra fabric, too, so it’ll make mending easier in the long run.
I made sure to do my weekly review, too. I always feel more on top of things and like I have a better grasp on life, even when my depression is at its highest.
My new sewing box also came with a keychain sized option, which I promptly removed the chain of. It makes for a great sewing and tatting box for Lenya! I thrifted these teeny tiny doll buttons on Tuesday. The tiny tatting thread looks like a massive ball of crochet yarn, which is so fun for scale.
Yesterday, I drove up to Hyattsville to visit one of my best friends. She moved away a few months ago but I adore her new abode. It’s like a little Victorian apartment and feels homey and cozy. We had tea and I met her kitty, Captain. He’s so sweet and precious and he also sneezes.
Finally I’ll tackle the former friendship- I was essentially ghosted and I forced their hand to see where we stood. Previously, I have asked what I did wrong, even if there was no saving the relationship. I was repeatedly told ‘nothing’, the entirely uncontactable friend was just ‘busy’, and I was ‘in the clear’. I knew in my heart I had messed up but I’d started studying etiquette (because of Polaire, she’s not afraid to tell me when I mess up) and really had been working on self-improvement. Simply put, I can’t improve upon what I don’t know, and everybody has blind spots. To make the long story short, one of the two friends who had ghosted me posted a comment on a page we both liked so I made a silly, self-deprecating joke, in response, essentially calling myself passe and having bad taste. Despite knowing me for years and my fairly obvious attempt at humor to test the water with them, the ghoster opted to call me tacky and, in a long winded way, a hypocrite.
I continually try my best at doing the right thing and I’ll always be the first to admit I’m not perfect. Heck, I’ve already failed at the “no-spend year” (but I’ve reduced my spending by a lot, so, in my eyes, that’s a win!). I’ve also addressed in a previous post that I already knew I’m ita, but I’ve been working on improving.
I recognize I essentially forced that former friend’s hand into responding to see where we stood. It’s obvious they never wanted to tell me about my shortcomings and they expected me to be perfect(after reflecting on many other interactions). They didn’t give me a chance to better myself that last time, even if they wanted to end it, and their wording was chosen specifically to hurt me. They could have responded with a slew of other things ‘we’re not friends anymore, please don’t speak to me ever again’ being the most efficient and polite way of ending that. But they chose to needle me and exemplify pot calling the kettle black.
I could call them out here, but what would it serve? How would it make the world better or make her a less bitter person? Odds are, you don’t know her and I’d rather let this be the end of it and let that person fade into my memory. And that, dear readers, is all I want to publicly say on that topic.
I have friends now that I don’t get doubts about their honesty or motives, and I know they have my best interest at heart. And for that, I will forever appreciate them.